In our weekly series, readers can email in with any financial dilemma and enter the Money Moral Maze.
Are your friends racking up big drinks tabs and then trying to split the bill equally, is your partner spending overspending on your joint account? No matter your dilemma, email in anonymously, and i‘s money and business team will do our best to answer.
This week’s dilemma can be found below – email us at [email protected] with yours.
The dilemma
We recently went to a pub with some family friends for a Sunday lunch.
They are a couple and my husband has been friends with them since his university days.
We are all in our 40s now, and they have three children, aged two, four and six. We have just the one – our two-year-old daughter.
At the end of the meal, they asked to split the bill, which I agreed to, not really properly engaging with the question.
But now I’ve reflected I realise this is a bit unfair, and I’m annoyed about it. I essentially paid half of three childrens’ meals.
Should I be asking for some of the money back or is that far to petty?
My husband thinks it’s an absolute non-issue and that it’s embarrassing that I’m bothered about it. For me, it’s more the principle.
Callum Mason, i’s money and business reporter, responds
It sounds like you have a legitimate grievance. Restaurant bill-splitting can often be a thorny issue and one which causes lots of arguments.
In this case, I would say the ship has sailed perhaps. We don’t know when the meal was, but assuming it was more than a few days ago, it seems over the top to go back to the couple and ask for the cash back.
This approach would perhaps seem a bit petty, and may result in damage to the friendship, which I am sure is not your intention.
Going forwards however, I think if the scenario comes up again, you are well within your rights to challenge the assumption that the bill will be split.
This is easy enough to do, you can simply suggest at the meal that everyone pays for what they ate.
Hopefully your friends will react appropriately and agree that is fair and that is what you will do.
If for any reason they do get a bit frustrated, you may have to question why and whether, in fact, they were trying to pay less in the first place.
It is very unlikely this is the case, however.
In an uneven ordering situation, asking to pay for your own food and drink is more than fair, and shouldn’t cause any problems.
