Money

How to talk about death and finances with aging parents: A guide


Welcome back to Uncomfortable Conversations About Money, a new series where we will tackle topics or situations around money that make you uneasy. We’ll outline the problem and try to get you some usable solutions. 

Today’s topic: How do you talk to your parents about death and finances – without seeming like you are money-hungry? 

Daughter wants to avoid repeat hardships after dad’s death

The dilemma: Last year, Melisa Gotto’s father died. 

“We did talk about death and sort of what accounts he had and what his desires were for when he passed, but we didn’t really get into the nitty-gritty of it,” said Gotto, of Green, Ohio. 

But Gotto said she – and her father, Dave, – were unprepared for all that came with tying up everything from funeral arrangements to his financial affairs. 

Melisa Gotto, right, said she was not prepared to handle financial for her dad, Dave Gotto, right, left after his death. Having the uncomfortable conversation about his finances and wishes would have helped, she said,

For instance, her dad had a burial plot in California but died in Nevada. She didn’t know it cost $10,000 and required special health department permission to transport a body over state lines. 

Gotto’s parents were divorced. Now, Gotto wants to avoid the headaches and heartache she dealt with after her dad’s death. She has begun talking to her 69-year-old mom, Kim Slingluff, about how Slingluff will afford to live the rest of her life – and how the two of them prepare for her mom’s death. 



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