Fearne Cotton admits ‘all her mental health lows’ were due to work as she reflects on panic attacks in her early career

Fearne Cotton has admitted that ‘all of her mental health lows’ have been due to work and that ‘no money in the world’ would make her return to live radio or TV.

The star, 42, spoke in a very candid new interview about her struggles and panic attacks in her early career when she was a children’s television presenter for GMTV, CITV and CBBC.

She told how it is impossible to be in the public eye when you’re young and ‘get through it in one piece’ as she admitted big red carpet events never felt ‘safe’ to her.

Speaking to The Times she said: ‘If you want to get a whole host of mental health problems, get in the public eye really young, because you get them all.

‘There’s no way you can get through it in one piece … All my mental health lows are because of my job. Nothing else. It is not conducive to a balanced mind.’ 

Fearne went on to explain how live radio and TV is no longer for her due to the ‘level of risk and judgement’, saying her ‘nervous system can’t take’ being thrown into a ‘pit of lions’.

She added: ‘Because cancel culture exists, it’s that you could do one thing and you’re done, you’re dead. Bye! Everyone’s waiting for you to cock up so they can all point fingers and say that you’ve always been terrible.’

The blonde beauty also reflected on her mental health struggles in her early years, saying she would not sleep the night before live radio and would end up feeling ill which escalated into ‘anxiety and panic attacks’. 

This continued until she began to question why she was doing it to herself and decide to step away.

Fearne left Radio 1 in 2015.

She became the first regular female presenter of the BBC Radio 1 Chart Show in 2007, which she co-hosted with Reggie Yates.

And then two years later she went on to present her own BBC Radio 1 show.

Last month Fearne reflected on her decision to leave BBC Radio 1 in 2015, admitting in the nine years since so much has changed ‘for the better’.

The broadcaster has been a solid part of the TV and radio world since she began her presenting career in 1996 at the age of 15.

She joined Radio 1 in 2005, and two years later became the first ever permanent female presenter of a BBC radio chart show.

In 2009, Fearne then took over from Jo Whiley in hosting Radio 1’s weekday mid-morning show, but left the station in 2015 with her final show taking place exactly nine years ago, later citing her mental health.

Marking the anniversary, she took to her Instagram to share a video looking back on how far she’d come since and admitting at the time she ‘mentally was not in a great place’ and had ‘very low mood’ and ‘self loathing’.

Fearne said: ‘So apparently it’s been nine years since I left Radio 1, which I can’t believe. On one hand it feels like another lifetime ago and in another way it feels like it was yesterday.

‘But I don’t often stop and take stock of how much or what has changed, I’m just like racing through life like we all are. 

‘But today I’ve gone, “Oh my god so much has changed in nine years”, and luckily for the better because at that time I really mentally was not in a great place. 

‘And that’s not to say that I have perfect mental health now but I really wasn’t in a good head space and I had a lot of self doubt and self loathing and all sorts of stuff going on and very very low mood and anxiety, which I still deal with today here and there.’

She explained that she had made ‘progress’, by growing in confidence enough to trust her gut and set boundaries for herself.

She explained: ‘But there’s been progress and I’m not talking about career achievement here, I’m talking about me mentally and knowing that I can say no to things and knowing that I can set boundaries and knowing that it’s okay to follow my gut and just a whole host of things that I didn’t feel I had access to back then.

‘So although I don’t often stop and go what’s happened over the course of a decade, today it definitely feels like a lot has happened.

‘And I’m really grateful because I’ve been able to sort this whole new chapter of my career which I hadn’t anticipated at all.’

Fearne then voiced her joy that she had managed to achieve so many great things, such as her Happy Place podcast and the accompanying Happy Place Festival, as well as her upcoming debut novel, Scripted.

She gushed: ‘I’m so grateful for Happy Place, I’m so grateful that I get to do the podcast, I’m so grateful that we’ve got the Happy Place Festival coming up again.

‘I’m so grateful that I’ve had the opportunity and dived headfirst into writing my first novel, which I feel just sort of feel mind blown about.’

Urging her followers to have hope they can also make positive changes, she concluded: ‘I guess I wanted to do this message because change is possible. You know, whether it is a life pivot or mentally like a mindset. Change is possible, new things can happen. It doesn’t feel like it at the time, but it is possible. 

‘I didn’t think I was going to write a novel. I didn’t think I was going to do a festival and a podcast and all these other lovely Happy Place projects, I didn’t have a clue. 

‘So change is possible, you’re not stuck. And you gotta hold onto any bit of hope that’s there and trust and keep learning and keep growing. That’s all we can do. But you’re not stuck! Change is most definitely possible.’

Captioning the inspirational post, Fearne wrote that while she was still ‘on the mend from tough times’, she was improving.

She penned: ‘9 years ago I left Radio1. I don’t often look back, or take stock but today I do feel the need to stop and recognise how much has changed.

‘I’m still on the mend from tough times and I still have work to do to regulate my nervous system, but I’m getting a bit better at looking after myself and having self compassion.

‘I’m up for trying new things and constantly seek out new challenges that keep me on my toes. These tweaks have opened up so much that I’m grateful for.

‘If you feel stuck, I promise you you’re not. There’s always another way if you want change and are willing to try something new or change your mindset. 

‘None of its easy but it is possible. On this grey, s****y Wednesday I’m sending you love and big encouragement on your path to make changes that work for you. ❤️’

In August 2021, Fearne admitted that she quit her job at BBC Radio 1 because it was ‘ruining her mind’.

She had previously revealed that presenting had affected her mental health as she didn’t ‘feel connected’ to lots of parts of the entertainment industry, adding: ‘I always felt like someone was about to slag me off.’

Appearing on Lorraine in October 2022, she said she had decided to pause her broadcast career to protect her mental health because of ‘cancel culture today’, saying it caused her ‘massive anxiety’, that ‘wasn’t worth it for a radio show’.

The author said: ‘I couldn’t be in that situation every day, where I was having the negative feedback every day, not with cancel culture that exists.’

Fearne added: ‘When I entered my 40’s I thought some life laundry needs to be done, I can’t feel like this anymore.

‘Sometimes you are stuck in life situations that you can’t change but sometimes there are things you can do the alleviate the stress.

‘I was petrified, it took the fun out of it so I stopped doing things that gave me anxiety, for a radio show it wasn’t worth it. 

‘It was a huge, massive cause of anxiety. It sounds maybe disproportionately dramatic but I couldn’t bear to be in that situation…

‘That feedback every day, or however often I was doing a show, I found it quite traumatic to have that feedback constantly from people and not being able to mess up at all because there isn’t any room to mess up or make mistakes.

‘I was petrified. It took the joy out of it, the fun out of how it used to feel.

‘I’ve definitely moved away from things that caused me panic attack anxiety, not just like “I don’t feel good” – I mean not sleeping the night before, proper full-on panic attacks. For a radio show, it’s not worth it.’

Fearne has since focused on her popular podcast, which sees her interview different celebrities, including Jada Pinkett Smith, Stephen Fry and Hillary Rodham Clinton, which has also spurned its own festival.

She has been married to Jesse Wood, the son of Rolling Stones rocker Ronnie Wood,  since 2014 and they are parents to Rex, 11, and Honey, eight, as well as Jesse’s two children, Arthur, 22, and Lola, 19, from a previous relationship.