John Mulaney is coming clean in his new Netflix special, “Baby J” (now streaming).
The standup comedian delivers a revelatory routine, once again transforming his struggles into a set that draws laughter and undoubtedly allows other addicts to relate. Mulaney, 40, got sober at 23 after battling a dependency on cocaine and alcohol.
“I don’t drink,” he explained his 2012 special “New in Town.” “That surprises a lot of audiences, because I don’t look like someone who used to do anything.” Mulaney added he quit drinking because he’d “black out and I would ‘ruin’ parties. Or so I’m told.”
“Baby J” is culled from Mulaney’s “From Scratch” tour, which he’s been perfecting since 2021. On Sunday, he wrapped a four-night stint in Las Vegas, in which he joked about Sin City’s road construction, praised singer Usher’s residency, and compared CNN to a child gasping with excitement about a frog.
Mulaney filmed his latest special in February at Boston Symphony Hall, two years after completing rehab for addictions to cocaine, Adderall, Xanax, Klonopin and Percocet. In July 2021, Mulaney filed for divorce from artist Anna Marie Tendler after nearly seven years of marriage. He and actress Olivia Munn welcomed a son, Malcolm, in November 2021.
“I’ve had a weird couple years; you’ve had a weird couple years,” Mulaney says early in “Baby J,” before bursting into a song referencing the pandemic and his personal life. “We all went to rehab, and we all got divorced, and now our reputation is different,” he sings. “No one knows what to think. All the kids like Bo Burnham more because he’s currently less problematic. Likability is a jail.”
Mulaney then opens up about his addiction battle, relapse and recovery.
John Mulaney’s ‘star-studded intervention’
On Dec. 18, 2020, Mulaney entered his friend’s apartment expecting a dinner but knew immediately the gathering was an intervention. “Do you know how bad of a drug problem you have to have if, when you open a door and see people gathered, your first and immediate thought is, ‘This is probably an intervention about my drug problem’?”
Mulaney describes the meeting as “a star-studded intervention,” organized by a dozen comics, including Seth Meyers, Nick Kroll and Fred Armisen.
“All comedians, yet no one said a funny thing the entire night,” Mulaney says. “Before I got there, they’d promised each other that they wouldn’t do bits. I was going psychotic. I am sitting there in an awful chair, crashing from cocaine. No one will let me go to the bathroom to freshen up, and the funniest people in the world are staring at me, refusing to do jokes. It was maddening! Fred Armisen was serious. Do you know how off-putting that is?”
Mulaney ‘did a bunch’ of cocaine before rehab
Mulaney says he did cocaine on the way to rehab, following his intervention. “I did a bunch in the car, and I did a bunch at a gas station in the bathroom off of one of those Koala baby changing stations,” he says. “What? That’s what those are for. You think you’re supposed to put a human baby on that mouse trap of a device?”
The former “SNL” writer says he arrived at a rehab facility at 4 a.m., carrying Adderall, Xanax, more cocaine and $2,000 in cash. “I had other plans that weekend!” he explains to laughs. By 4 p.m. he was in the rehab’s detox hospital, where he says he stayed for about five days. Then he transferred to a men’s ward where he experienced an uncomfortable level of anonymity.
“When I first got to rehab, one of my biggest fears was everyone was going to recognize me. Gradually, a new fear took over,” he jokes. “No one knew who I was, and it was driving me bananas.”
The lengths Mulaney went to to secure drugs
Mulaney shares that in January 2020 he was “very addicted to cocaine.” He wanted to shake the habit but didn’t turn to a counselor or seek medical attention. Instead, he says, he phoned his accountant. “I go, ‘Hey, I’m addicted to coke. You need to stop giving me money. Don’t give me any cash.’” Mulaney set a rule that he was only allowed to withdraw money if he sent an email to his accountant with his doctor cc’d.
He spent “the next six months finding elaborate ways to steal my own money from myself.” By August 2020, he was “very strung out” and desperate for cocaine. He planned to buy a Rolex on credit and sell it minutes later for cash, which he would then use to buy drugs.
Mulaney shelled out $12,000 for the watch, and sold it for half that. “As you process and digest how obnoxious, wasteful and unlikable that story is, just remember that’s one I’m willing to tell you,” Mulaney says, before taking a more earnest tone.
“It’s weird to be a recovering drug addict,” he says. “It was weird to be a drug addict, but at least I was on drugs. It’s strange sometimes. Like, I’m doing great, but when I’m alone, I’m with the person that tried to kill me.”
“I used to care what everyone thought about me so much. It was all I cared about,” he adds. “And I don’t anymore, and I don’t because I can honestly say what is someone going to do to me that’s worse than what I would do to myself? What are you going to cancel John Mulaney? I’ll kill him. I almost did.”
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