“Motley Fool Money” Discusses Best Side Dishes, Movie Sequels, and Other Random Topics

In this podcast, Motley Fools Chris Hill, Bill Barker, and Bill Mann discuss topics including:

• What should be on the Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving Side Dishes.
• Where they would go if they we were in the witness protection program.
• Pro sports mascots to represent Team USA at the World Cup.
• Movie sequels and characters they’d like to see more of.
• A wedding reception that went viral.

To catch full episodes of all The Motley Fool’s free podcasts, check out our podcast center. To get started investing, check out our quick-start guide to investing in stocks. A full transcript follows the video.

This video was recorded on Nov. 24, 2022.

Chris Hill: We’re celebrating thanksgiving with a little bit of nonsense. Apropos Of Nothing starts now. I’m Chris Hill and let me say right up front this is not the typical episode. No stock talk, no investing analysis. This is Apropos Of Nothing. An episode where I and a couple of other longtime Fools get around a table, pour ourselves something to drink and have a good time talking about random topics and today it’s things like what sports mascot should represent all of America? What movie characters do we want to see more of? If you had to go into the witness relocation program where would you go and what would you do for a job? I know a lot of you right now are dropping out and moving on to another podcast.

No hard feelings, I promise. But if you’re looking to get a little break from some members of your family, if you’re looking to kill a little time as you travel, if you’re far away from your family and friends and you’re just looking for some familiar voices to help you pass the time, then come hang out with me, Bill Mann, and Bill Barker. If you have listened to Apropos Of Nothing episodes that we’ve done in the past, you know we’ve discussed various Mount Rushmores related to eating. Things like what would we put on the Mount Rushmore of soups or the Mount Rushmore of greasy foods? Since today is a holiday, I figured we should start the conversation with the Mount Rushmore of Thanksgiving side dishes.

Bill Barker: This might be the easiest one. The least contentious because is there anyone who’s against stuffing and mashed potatoes? The primary question to me seems to be, is it possible to go with four different variations of stuffing for Mount Rushmore? Does anything else crack stuffing’s four best versions? What are the four best versions? I just have the sausage one. I’ve had a cornbread one in the past.

Bill Mann: What are we doing?

Chris Hill: I’m just what other ones are there?

Bill Mann: Are we throwing this out here now or are we saving it for the show?

Bill Barker: I think we’re doing the show right now. I don’t know if you’ve been on this podcast before but this is all happening.

Bill Mann: Fair enough. We are and we do have our headphones on.

Chris Hill: I still feel like mashed potatoes has a place.

Bill Barker: So does gravy. Does gravy count?

Chris Hill: No. Gravy is a condiment. Gravy is not a side dish.

Bill Barker: Not unless you treat it as a side dish.

Chris Hill: How would you to look at someone who showed up at your Thanksgiving dinner and they just poured themselves a hot cup of gravy and they’re like this is my side dish? I’m just going to drink this.

Bill Barker: Impressed. I’d want to hang out with that guy because let’s face it, it is a guy.

Bill Mann: It’s 100 percent it’s a guy.

Chris Hill: There’s no way a woman is doing that.

Bill Barker: No. I guess the main problem with putting gravy on the Mount Rushmore is carving it into the Granite. How do you represent that in rock form.

Bill Mann: What is that? That’s gravy.

Chris Hill: It doesn’t look like gravy.

Bill Mann: What is that? John Adams? What is that?

Chris Hill: Say what you want about Mount Rushmore. We know who those four people look like. 

Bill Mann: That’s right. 

Bill Barker: But what else you got? You like green beans?

Chris Hill: I would go stuffing mashed potatoes. I would go mac and cheese and cranberry relish is popular at Thanksgiving.

Bill Mann: In Massachusetts.

Chris Hill: Yes. Shocker. 

Bill Mann: Everywhere else, I would almost specifically say it’s the cranberry that keeps the form of the can that it’s been in like that cranberry aspect.

Bill Barker: That’s classic.

Bill Mann: It is a classic also to the point we were made earlier much easier to render on the mountain than cranberry sauce on it.

Chris Hill: But that’s not the point of a Mount Rushmore. It’s not our job to make the sculptor’s job easier.

Bill Mann: Let’s leave that to the army.

Chris Hill: Let’s leave that to the professionals.

Bill Barker: I just feel the whole thing reduces itself to the spam from Monty Python where they start talking there’s spam eggs, bacon, and spam-

Bill Mann: Can I get that without eggs?

Bill Barker: Then they’re just spam, spam, and bacon and so stuffing just keeps adopting that role of spam in the top four. Until its all four.

Chris Hill: Stuffing, the fact that I only have it once a year, that’s on me.

Bill Barker: You’ve been known to get a little testy about not enough stuffing at a Hill family Thanksgiving.

Chris Hill: There was one Thanksgiving.

Bill Mann: I am going to stop that.

Bill Barker: People still talk about it. Is it still a piece of family lore?

Chris Hill: No.

Bill Barker: Your reaction to not getting enough stuffing? 

Chris Hill: I don’t think so. I think there was just an adjustment made because it wasn’t just like, oh, I didn’t get stuffing. It was that a good number of people who got stuffing and then were looking forward to seconds. I also had them on my side because there were like, “Wait a minute. There’s not enough stuffing for seconds?” I was like, “Yeah, not only that. I didn’t even get first.” They’re like, “Okay, well settle down.” We adjusted. We course-corrected the following year and every year since.

Bill Mann: What about for the Mount Rushmore? Because I think it is one of the very few marshmallow-based foods. The sweet potatoes with marshmallows?

Chris Hill: You’re just making something up?

Bill Mann: No, I’m not.

Chris Hill: Is that a regional thing?

Bill Mann: I don’t know.

Bill Barker: Regional within your household or what?

Chris Hill: No. I’ve been to potluck dinners where that’s shown and I just thought, oh, OK.

Bill Barker: There are only two things that are made with marshmallows, and that’s Rice Krispies Treats and s’mores. There is no third thing they’re used for.

Bill Mann: Fluffernutter.

Bill Barker: Fluffernutter

Bill Mann: My gosh.

Bill Barker: Well, that’s its own food — Its own food group. 

Bill Mann: That is magical argumentation. There are two things made with this. Well, what about that? Oh, no. No. That’s not made with that. That is that.

Chris Hill: Because implicit in saying that is the person who raises it is like, What about this third thing? It’s like you’re not thinking creatively. You’re thinking two-dimensional. What’s wrong with you? This undercurrent of insult that goes along with it. No, I’ve thought this through. We’ve put top men on this and it’s its own category.

Bill Mann: Which I would buy. There aren’t that many marshmallow-driven savory dishes though.

Chris Hill: No.

Bill Mann: Not that sweet potatoes are savory but they’re not savory.

Chris Hill: No. But the big marshmallow needs to get working on that.

Bill Mann: They’ve lost basically the jello marshmallow ambrosia-type stuff. That’s back in the shag carpet age at this point.

Chris Hill: It comes out every once in a while. But it’s like, oh sorry you’re still a niche food.

Bill Mann: Have you ever been through like a 1960s catalog or recipe book with some of the things that were made with gelatin?

Chris Hill: Oh yeah. Oh gosh.

Bill Mann: Chef Boyardee jello mold.

Chris Hill: For all we know that represented the best mass-market thinking of the time. That may have been like no, this is how we do. You’re welcome, everybody. Here’s this recipe.

Bill Mann: This is oat.

Bill Barker: All right. Can you pass that bottle that’s in front of you and move on to the reader questions?

Chris Hill: Thank you by the way.

Bill Mann: Have we introduced it?

Bill Barker: By all means.

Chris Hill: Who is this episode brought to us by?

Bill Mann: It is brought to us by Dead Rabbit, Irish Whiskey, which is a super-premium whiskey.

Bill Barker: You were over there.

Bill Mann: I was over in Ireland and I was delighted to bring it back. Only then did I discover that they have a New York Outpost.

Bill Barker: Oh my god, this is so smooth.

Bill Mann: It is so smooth and it’s only five years old.

Bill Barker: I’d never heard of this before you brought it back.

Bill Mann: I mean not today, but we’re going to need more of this.

Bill Barker: Not today. 

Chris Hill: Today we may end up with an adequate amount.

Bill Barker: We don’t need more than one bottle for the three of us, it’s like 12:15 in the afternoon. But what is time really? Can you move on to the reader questions here because you’ve got some listener questions, because we’ve got some good ones. You asked for them and remarkably, Bill, people listened to what you were saying, which is news to me. 

Bill Mann: I didn’t realize one needed to do that.

Bill Barker: Can we just back up for those that haven’t been around for this thing before, we’ve discussed that the theme for this and the show, not just this show, but most of our conversations with each other as affectionate hostility. Yeah, wanted to get to the point. 

Chris Hill: Here’s one Kristy. I love this idea because again, we put out like, hey, we’re looking for topics that aren’t investing in business and unfortunately, some people send emails with, why do you talk about this business and Kristy gets it because she wrote through no fault of your own. You must go through the witness protection program. No social media, no self promotion, totally go gray man, where do you relocate? What low key mundane job are you doing? I love that she just lead with, ‘this is not your fault.’ No fault of your own. However, probably a mental exercise we’ve all done at one point or another. Just like OK what if it came to that?

Bill Barker: Yeah, there’s another reader question where it is our fault that we’re in a predicament. We’ll get to that.

Chris Hill: We’ll get to that one.

Bill Barker: We’re ready to take a couple of detours before we get there. Where would you go? Because both questions are great and I was able to lock in on the mundane job earlier then I’m still not clear on where I would go, but I’m presuming you would have to be out of this time zone and it has to be somewhere in the Midwest and West Coast, something like that.

Bill Barker: I think one of the things you have to take into consideration is presumably, you’re not traveling alone. You’re going with your spouse.

Chris Hill: Presumably, yes.

Bill Barker: You have to take that into consideration. Whereas you might have certain choices, they have to be weighed.

Bill Mann: That changes a huge amount of my consideration.

Bill Barker: You literally hadn’t thought about that part at all.

Bill Mann: I’m really sorry.

Bill Barker: I know this is a hypothetical. 

Bill Mann: In my attempts to be funny, I didn’t think about the fact that you might need to come along.

Bill Barker: Yes. Where were you going?

Bill Mann: I was going to go Northern Michigan.

Bill Barker: Why can’t you bring her?

Bill Mann: She would be the Asian community of Northern Michigan.

Bill Barker: It would be easier to find.

Bill Mann: It would be easy to find, I’m presuming.

Bill Barker: You’re hiding in plain sight here.

Chris Hill: It’s Trevor Noah’s bit that he does about Idris Elba being the next James Bond.

Bill Mann: Right, exactly.

Chris Hill: Of course Idris Elba could be the next James Bond. Then it’s like, oh wait, James Bond is from Scotland and he’s a spy. Idris Elba, it would be like, oh, there he is.

Bill Mann: Marissa Tomei’s line from my cousin Vinny, yeah you blend. 

Chris Hill: Yeah, you blend.

Bill Mann: That is not to make any commentary, but someone would notice.

Chris Hill: Because that’s the thing. But also, I’d go looking for you there. Presumably, where on the head squad you and I, tracking him down. Where are we going to look? Northern Michigan is one of the places where, because you’re always going there.

Bill Mann: I do, I love it. Michigan is low key, one of the most beautiful states in the country and every time I say that, my friend from Michigan always say, that’s because you come here in August, but I still 100 percent believe.

Chris Hill: Go back in January and let us know. 

Bill Mann: Just fill us in.

Chris Hill: But he’s not wrong in thinking about it, we know pleasure to say that. But he’s not wrong when he says that you got to keep a low profile. Hence the question, like you have to have a low key mundane job. There’s no social media, you’re keeping a low profile. That’s why I was able to lock in on like, oh, dishwasher. It’d be a dishwasher somewhere. I’m the back, I’m not really interacting with customers. I’m just washing dishes. Now where that is, it’s not Northern Michigan but someplace we wouldn’t look for you.

Bill Barker: Although if you went to Maine, it would be hard to find you because there is a lot of there’s a lot of wild animals and it’s hard to find people there. And you?

Chris Hill: I think that’d be a dance instructor.

Bill Mann: Bill Barker has described himself as a surprisingly good dancer for very long time.

Bill Barker: Again, the question is, mundane job, I’ve never been a dance instructor. I don’t think I know any yeah. It doesn’t strike me as a mundane job.

Bill Mann: Really?

Chris Hill: Yeah.

Bill Mann: A dance instructor strikes you as like high profile?

Chris Hill: I think so.

Bill Mann: Why? If you’re good at it, do you know any.

Chris Hill: No, there you go. I feel qualified to be.

Bill Barker: I’ve put you on your heels here.

Chris Hill: I wasn’t expecting dance instructor. I’ll be honest. Again, I would do a good job as a dishwasher. Tell me why I’m hiring you to be a dance instructor in my studio.

Bill Barker: Here’s one of the advantages. I wouldn’t have many students to maintain a low profile, but there wouldn’t be like, oh, everybody’s heard of that guy.

Chris Hill: He’d have a different name.

Bill Barker: He doesn’t look like he could probably dance or instruct. I would just be hanging around a lot and people would knock every once in a while like I’m thinking of taking lessons and they’d meet me and be like, they be polite about it, but then they’d go look somewhere else.

Chris Hill: That’s some third-level thinking right there.

Bill Mann: I’m going to go work in like an ice cream shop in Central Tennessee. Like Murfreesboro, Tennessee. Like medium-size, smallish town where I do something that is you go into an ice cream shop.

Bill Barker: You’re not the focus the ice cream is the focus.

Bill Mann: It’s always.

Bill Barker: Over time, don’t you become gigantically overweight and draw attention to yourself? I mean, you’re working in ice cream shop.

Bill Mann: That’s not very nice.

Bill Barker: I’m just saying anybody, like anybody with say my level of self-control. Working in an ice cream shop eventually is going to be like, wow, do you see what happened to that guy?

Bill Mann: Have you ever worked in a food environment? Have you ever worked in fast food? Here’s the thing, and I really do mean this, after a while and it doesn’t take very long for most people, the food that is there is no longer a drive for you. It’s not that attractive and I don’t care what it is.

Bill Barker: I think you’re not making very good ice cream.

Bill Mann: I think I’m making great ice cream, but it can’t be great ice cream because I need to be working at a middle of the road ice cream place.

Chris Hill: Speaking of ice cream, I don’t know about you, but it’s been months since I’ve seen chocolate sprinkles on the shelf at the grocery store, and I’m starting to get concerned that there’s a global shortage.

Bill Barker: You got a conspiracy theory for that?

Chris Hill: I don’t know.

Bill Mann: Big Chocolate is finally trying to take down.

Chris Hill: Maybe it’s big marshmallow is trying to inflict some pain on some other parts of the industry.

Bill Barker: I’ve got a related question, which is, I asked early on, if you had any hot takes on the multiverse or AI or the metaverse, anything in that category?

Chris Hill: I don’t.

Bill Barker: You don’t? 

Bill Mann: Great question.

Chris Hill: Really great question, I don’t.

Bill Barker: In the multiverse, the infinite number of universes out there, some of them, rather than being exactly as you are like, you’re incredibly tall, taller than minute poll or something like that. Sam you’re growing up in Asia and there’s an infinite number of varieties of yourself. But I understand, and in many of these, by the way, I’m a pretty good dancer in many of these. But I think it’s already been mathematically proven that there is no version of me in any universe that can be where I can sing.

Bill Mann: You’re saying gun to your head, gun to the heads of your family.

Bill Barker: An infinite number of me.

Bill Mann: You’re in a karaoke bar that’s like you’ve got to sing one song or say goodbye to your family and you’re like, I guess I’m saying goodbye to my family.

Bill Barker: No they’re like, oh, that guy is trying to sing.

Bill Mann: Oh. 

Bill Barker: I can try to sing.

Bill Mann: Sure.

Bill Barker: But there’s no version in the multi-verse where somebody would say, oh, that guy is singing. Yeah, he can sing. There are versions of me where I can do every other thing. But just not that, which I think is a challenge to the whole concept of the multi-verse because of the infinite possibilities. But I think it’s been mathematically proven by top men. Top men at MIT have established that it’s a major challenge to the theory of the infinite.

Bill Mann: Before the folks at University of Alaska, Anchorage did that scientific research on alcohol tolerance and hamsters, they tackled the multi-verse question.

Chris Hill: We’ll get to that.

Bill Barker: I mean that thing is amazing. Just amazing. I was blown away by that.

Bill Mann: I think that you are underestimating what Infinity means when it comes to the multi-verse.

Bill Barker: That’s more than 100.

Bill Mann: Right. Exactly. In an infinite amount of multiverses. In some of the multiverses you are only slightly different. Maybe your eyes are better.

Bill Barker: Yeah.

Bill Mann: Or something of that nature.

Bill Barker: Or you are good at real tennis.

Bill Mann: You actually like the rest of the world, like cheese on burgers and things of that nature. But in other ones, as Chuck Klosterman said, the world is ruled by robotic wolves that feed on liquid Cobalt. Yes, I think that it is possible in one of these infinite multiverses.

Bill Barker: I think this has been looked at like in some of them, I’m like I’m spider-man.

Bill Mann: Get Neil deGrasse Tyson on the phone.

Bill Barker: Born in the 1700s and every other variation. But I think it’s say top men have looked at this and it’s a real challenge.

Chris Hill: Another question from a listener identified only by the letter E.

Bill Mann: That’s actually me from the witness protection program. My job is to write listener questions.

Bill Barker: If you can’t write your whole name. We’re skeptical. You better bring it with the question.

Chris Hill: I’m assuming he is in a position of high authority, much like M and the bond movie. E rights, you guys are stranded on a sail boat in the middle of nowhere.

Bill Mann: Sounds good.

Bill Barker: Who would you blame for being in this situation? I think we’re blaming you.

Bill Mann: Yeah. 

Bill Barker: I think we all agree.

Chris Hill: It may not have been your idea to like, hey, let’s go on the boat, but like in the middle of nowhere it’s like OK.

Bill Mann: Oh, yeah.

Chris Hill: It was your idea to go at night after finishing off this bottle?

Bill Mann: Yes. Exactly.

Bill Barker: The rest of us were like had had a normal idea of going out in the boat.

Bill Mann: I will say this about me and this is why I unfortunately have to agree with you. I have an unbelievably great sense of directions. You can drop me down someplace and I tend to know where I am going. But when it lets me down, it lets me down to so catastrophically.

Bill Barker: So hard.

Bill Mann: So hard because it doesn’t occur to me until way too late that I really have no idea where I’m going. I don’t know, maybe it’s not great for this conversation that we just all agree with me and move on. But 100 percent what has happened is that I’ve looked at like, oh, that’s Mars, we’d go that direction and it turns out that was neither Mars, nor the right way to go, and you all have trusted that were in the 99 percent and not in the one percent.

Bill Barker: That’s just a flashing red buoy on ship. It’s like look, it’s red, its a planet. That’s awfully low.

Bill Mann: Flashing. Maybe Mars is trying to tell us something.

Chris Hill: In his defense though? Minor defense? It was after we polished off this bottle. We listened to him. What does that say about us?

Bill Mann: It really was the getting on the boat that was the original problem.

Bill Barker: Yeah. We will throw this one on here because those who choose to listen, will be listening.

Bill Mann: The ones who are left?

Bill Barker: Yeah.

Bill Mann: Yeah.

Bill Barker: After the Men’s World Cup has started. Just like the Summer Olympics and the Winter Olympics, there is a mascot for the World Cup. But I was thinking through what if it was like college sports and each team gets to bring their mascot. Here’s this scenario. We get to bring a mascot to represent Team USA. But it has to be an existing mascot from one of the major professional sports.

Bill Mann: Existing or one that has ever existed.

Chris Hill: It’s Apropos Of Nothing. As the judge would say, I’ll allow it. But I think, and pains me slightly as a fan of Boston sports teams. I think I’m going with Gritty. Gritty from Philadelphia fliers representing Team USA. I think that would represent America well.

Bill Barker: I was taking this a little bit more literally as to the mascot. If you’re bringing a mascot to represent the United States, obviously, you’re bringing an Eagle. But what I’m thinking of is like the Eagle from Lord of the Rings. They’d like Gandalf flies around on and is like 60 feet wide.

Bill Mann: A magical super Eagle.

Bill Barker: Because that would help you in some soccer games. I mean, he’s just perched there on the stadium and every time the other team touches the ball, it just makes the Eagle noise, and there, they’re worried.

Bill Mann: Gritty is a great mascot, like full-stop, like instant hit mascot. If you go back in time just a little bit, I would suggest maybe the San Diego chicken might be the one.

Bill Barker: It’s more representative of America?

Bill Mann: It maybe a little more representative of America. I don’t know if you remember this, but there became this mascot one-upmanship. After after the San Diego chicken became just famous for being a mascot of whatever.

Bill Barker: It started with, the padres didn’t?

Chris Hill: Yeah.

Bill Mann: Yeah. The Yankees actually had a mascot called Dandy. 

Chris Hill: How long did that last?

Bill Mann: Three years.

Bill Barker: And nobody remembers that.

Bill Mann: Three years. It looked like Thurman Munson. But it was a large pin striped bird that looked like Thurman Munson and Bill Barker, our resident Yankee’s fan, is currently looking this up.

Bill Barker: I’m not. I refuse to believe this ever happened because I listened to the Yankees by Radio back then.

Bill Mann: You didn’t see?

Bill Barker: He didn’t waste time on the field, Phil Rizzuto who would talk about everything but the baseball game never talked about the mascot.

Bill Mann: Wow. That’s probably why it only lasts for two years. Because if you lose Phil Rizzuto in the Yankees organization, you’ve lost the whole organization. Maybe this is what’s important about Dandy. Is that Dandy was meant to represent the Yankees and therefore the United States of America. But who would not be terrified of a giant Pinstripes bird that looks like Thurman Munson?

Bill Barker: On a related subject. [laughs]

Bill Mann: There’s no subject related to that.

Bill Barker: Yeah, there is.

Bill Mann: I dare you.

Bill Barker: We’ve often talked about the attractiveness of thinking about the different buddy-cop scenarios.

Bill Mann: Yes.

Bill Barker: CEO Buddy Cops. But is there some mascot buddy-cop movie you’d like to see where there’s some mismatched mascots. But they solve crimes? Yes, they’re mascots. But they also solve crimes and they don’t necessarily get along with each other at the beginning?

Bill Mann: At the beginning.

Bill Barker: At the beginning?

Bill Mann: Because eventually they come to have a begrudging respect for one another.

Bill Barker: Exactly.

Bill Mann: In this scenario, who’s the captain? Because in the buddy-cop movie there’s always the captain who’s demanding, I need some results. The mayor just chewed me out, that thing. I need you gun and your badge on my desk, that thing.

Bill Mann: Also a mascot?

Bill Barker: I’m assuming it’s another mascot.

Bill Mann: It’s Oscar the grouch. I think. He could do that. He’s not technically a mascot, but he can fill that role.

Bill Barker: Sure.

Chris Hill: Pretty good. Right?

Bill Barker: Yeah, he’s a grouch.

Chris Hill: Yeah. 

Bill Mann: We just need to get him to be the mascot of what?

Chris Hill: I’m tempted to go. In terms of mismatched mascots, in terms of skill set. Sam, maybe you’ve got the like the Maryland Terrapin? Very slow, obviously, presumably thoughtful, intelligent. I don’t know what are turtles supposed to be smart? I’m confusing them with owls.

Bill Mann: Let’s get the world’s smartest turtle and the world’s dumbest owl in the room and see what happens.

Bill Barker: Why don’t you just fill that glass up a little more before you gain anymore coherence?

Bill Mann: You don’t need to say. You get it.

Chris Hill: Making too much sense.

Bill Mann: I’m going to say at least one of them should be Chomps the dog, which is the Cleveland Browns dog mascot.

Chris Hill: He seems like he could solve crimes.

Bill Mann: Yes. But he also seems like he’s going to do a lot of other things before he gets around to solving the crime. Chomps the dog based on the dog pound, which is the mayhem part of the Cleveland Browns fan base, and I’m assured there is one, I feel like that’s at least half of it.

Bill Barker: Who are were matching up with? You had one.

Chris Hill: I think the Maryland Terrapin maybe with something fast of some sort.

Bill Barker: Some sort of roadrunner?

Chris Hill: Some sort of roadrunner, some sort of cougar, leopard, mountain lion. 

Bill Mann: Something that doesn’t eat turtles. Let’s start there.

Chris Hill: Because that would be a conflict.

Bill Barker: You’re taking a Zootopia angle on this.

Chris Hill: Yes. Although it does remind me that there are teams out there that have basically abandoned their team name in favor of something else. The Denver Nuggets, their mascot who shows up in the arena.

Bill Mann: Is a pile of poop.

Chris Hill: No, it’s a mountain lion, I think.

Bill Mann: Because I think the nuggets, that would be an unbelievable mascot.

Chris Hill: No it’s a mountain lion who just runs around and is more friendly than presumably a gold miner from the 1840s.

Bill Barker: The gold miners, when you think about classic gold miners from mythology, you’re really thinking about Yukon Cornelius.

Chris Hill: Silver. He’s a silver miner.

Bill Barker: Come on.

Chris Hill: That’s He’s a silver mime.

Bill Barker: Wait, but the song about silver and gold, which follows his adventures.

Chris Hill: That’s true.

Bill Barker: He’s realized.

Bill Mann: He’s aware of the existence of gold.

Bill Barker: How great would that be? Peppermint, what he was actually mining for was remarkably peppermint. We’re getting into the territory.

Chris Hill: We’re getting off subject, off topic here.

Bill Barker: Off topic. Really, that’s something we should be exploring in the next, Apropos Of Nothing in December.

Bill Mann: We were accidentally on topic. I may actually say, when you talk about mismatched buddy cops, I also think you maybe need to think about what teams really dislike each other. I’m doubling down on my Cleveland Browns mascot, the dog. Match them up with Steely McBeam, the Steelers mascot, and they hate each other. They absolutely hate each other. But they can’t solve crimes without each other.

Chris Hill: Different skills.

Bill Mann: Different skills. One’s got a giant steel beam he carries around for the mayhem.

Chris Hill: Let me guess he’s the bad cop.

Bill Barker: It seems like he’d like dogs though. That’s the problem.

Bill Mann: Not a dog from Cleveland.

Chris Hill: Not a Cleveland dog.

Bill Mann: No.

Bill Barker: Movies, yeah. I’m changing topics here, for those who couldn’t tell.

Chris Hill: I picked that up when you announced movie. Movies.

Bill Barker: Something at least 20-years-old, 20-25 years old that you’d like to see a part 2. Or it could be a prequel. It could be a prequel.

Chris Hill: I want to spend more time with these characters.

Bill Barker: You want to spend more time with these characters. You want to know either more about what happens after or what happened before or something along those lines.

Bill Mann: Man, I’ve got a two-parter but go ahead.

Chris Hill: No, go.

Bill Barker: He’s stalling. Dan is going to come in with it.

Bill Mann: Dan is going to come in and win. I would say I would love.

Bill Barker: Dan’s too young, he didn’t see movies 25 years ago.

Dan Boyd: I’m not that young.

Bill Barker: You’re younger than people.

Dan Boyd: I’m almost 40.

Bill Mann: But he is. You are that.

Bill Barker: You weren’t seeing R rated movies 25 years ago?

Dan Boyd: Probably not.

Bill Mann: I would like to know ultimately, one of two things. What happened to Prince Humperdinck, and what happened with Westley and Buttercup in The Princess Bride?

Chris Hill: See, I don’t know. A sequel to that would just be make your case.

Bill Mann: Humperdinck in the.

Bill Barker: It seems perfect. Do we want to go back there?

Bill Mann: Trying to make it comeback?

Bill Barker: It’s how much maybe.

Bill Mann: They didn’t battle to the pain.

Bill Barker: Do you think he’s coming back?

Bill Mann: He’s coming back.

Bill Barker: He is coming back.

Chris Hill: That’s the sequel, the sequel is like Princess Bride 2 calling Humperdinck’s revenge.

Bill Mann: Yeah, I feel that would at least generate more box office success than The Princess Bride did. That is a lower hurdle than you might think.

Bill Barker: Yeah. Now, that is one of those beloved movie. It’s one of those movies that people are like, what do you mean it didn’t make a lot money at the box office?

Bill Mann: Three weeks and it was done?

Chris Hill: No, it really didn’t.

Bill Mann: I feel like Princess Bride.

Chris Hill: I have seen Princess Bride. I don’t know if that’s part of the Dan super young over here, but I have seen that film.

Bill Barker: Actually, I’ll go to this like off mic because I don’t You’ve seen that, but what have you got? You have anything in the movies you want to see part 2 or prequel?

Dan Boyd: No, not really. I’m not a big fan of prequel or sequels, to be honest. I’m fine if a good story is just a good story. I don’t know, maybe my mind doesn’t work like a movie studio producer and trying to dollar signs for eyes over here. If there’s a good story and it ends, OK, let’s get another good story going. We don’t have to expand upon this.

Chris Hill: It’s like no we need to expand upon it and we need adorable creatures to sell for merchandise. That’s what we need it.

Bill Barker: Or as Michael J. Fox said, the title of Back to the Future 2 is back to the bank.

Bill Mann: Back to the bank.

Dan Boyd: That’s a great example though. That seriously is great example Back to the Future is self-contained, is one of the best movies of all time, and the sequels are fun. Don’t get me wrong, but they don’t do anything to make the first movie better.

Bill Barker: No, they could have been good movies because you wanted to spend more time with the characters.

Bill Mann: Yes.

Bill Barker: But the way they did it just wasn’t very successful.

Chris Hill: To Dan’s point. I mean, the fact that so many movies, so many original movies, not based on source material, but so many original movies, when the actors sign the contract to be in the movie, frequently there is a clause that essentially binds them.

Bill Mann: If we’re coming back, you’re coming back.

Chris Hill: For two more movie

Bill Mann: Yes, that’s right.

Chris Hill: I remember my daughter’s went to see Pitch Perfect 2, that was like how was it? Then like, it was pretty good. One of them said, I hope they’re not going to make Pitch Perfect 3. I was like they are 100 percent going to make Pitch Perfect 3 because the first two made enough money and that’s just how this goes.

Dan Boyd: I couldn’t watch any of those movies. My skin legitimately tried to crawl off of my body as soon as they started singing in those films, I couldn’t deal with it, too cringy.

Chris Hill: Too much a cappella?

Dan Boyd: A cappella is potentially the most embarrassing thing somebody could possibly do. Yes, too much.

Chris Hill: More than mime?

Dan Boyd: Yes, more than mime because a cappella can bother you from the other room.

Bill Mann: That’s so great. One of the greatest Motley Fool moment that like in the office, I’m going to tell a story, and I don’t know if it’s ever been told outside of these walls.

Chris Hill: But Dan, make a mark, we’re going to edit this out.

Bill Mann: No, this is actually just funny. Well, you might get a certain.

Chris Hill: Yeah. Okay. That’s fine.

Bill Barker: I know the story.

Bill Mann: Yeah. Bill Barker made a throwaway mocking line about mimes and we received.

Bill Barker: This was in a written, back in the days when everything was written.

Bill Mann: When everything was written.

Bill Barker: It was an article.

Bill Mann: Yes. We got this multi paragraph response from a mime saying how mimes are disrespected, how he did not expect this from the Motley Fool, that we should be better than this. On and on and on and on. Bill Barker’s response was pretty worthy for a mime.

Chris Hill: I was going to say, what? He didn’t leave a voice mail? Do you remember what you wrote that resulted in this person’s 

Bill Barker: It was just an aside, it wasn’t even a clause. It was like so and so, it’s you can make fun of this. It was one of the few things you’re still allowed to make jokes about other than mimes, something like that. It was like the French, there was probably you’re absolutely allowed to make jokes about the French.

Bill Mann: Mime America was not pleased. Have you topped? 

Chris Hill: I’m going back to the movies. What’s your hobby?

Bill Barker: I’m sorry. That just reminded me of the great line in Spinal Tap.

Chris Hill: Mime is money. 

Bill Barker: At the party where mimes are the wait staff and it’s like, let’s go, come on, keep moving push the product out there. Let’s go. Mime is money. 

Bill Mann: Mine was Princess Bride. I’ve got more.

Chris Hill: Well, see the reason, and then here’s my response to going back there. It’s already that the story is boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy gets girl back. That’s the end of the story. The problem with going past boy gets girl back is it’s very difficult to tell something interesting about a happy couple.

Bill Mann: You got to middle-aged Fred Savage reading a story to his kid.

Chris Hill: You just want to have a sad visual if you go back.

Bill Mann: Yeah.

Bill Barker: By the way, you’re making it clear why you have nowhere in the multi-verse is there a version of you that’s a movie producer. Because you’re just like, no, I get that this is going to make money, but I just don’t think artistically it works. It’s like, well, guess who’s no longer running a movie studio?

Chris Hill: No. There are many versions of me in the multi-verse that have no ethics or artistic sensibility.

Bill Barker: Including this one?

Chris Hill: Yeah. Just not in this segment of this one. Got you. Here are a couple of ideas, just characters I’d like to see more of Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. I wouldn’t mind. Just them up to more high jinks. Part 2, I don’t particularly care what the story is.

Bill Mann: Didn’t care about the first one.

Chris Hill: Right. Did they win or lose at the end, it doesn’t really matter. Didn’t really matter the first time.

Bill Mann: You do have a little bit of a risk of that being the Hangover 2. The same exact movie but somehow not charming.

Chris Hill: Except there wasn’t that much money in it the first time. Then Steve Martin would have more artistic control, so I would hope for a better.

Bill Barker: Although, I do wonder if that movie benefited from when it was made. Let’s move off of movies and move to sitcoms. If you just think about the escalation in successful sitcoms about people who are not particularly redeemable. It’s like you start with Seinfeld.

Bill Mann: Prince on that list.

Chris Hill: It’s always sunny in Philly.

Bill Barker: It’s always sunny in Philadelphia. Then just whatever Larry wants for you.

Chris Hill: But that goes on for decades.

Bill Barker: Right. But I’m just saying in the same way that in the horror movie genre, there are things that are commonplace now and have been for decades in horror movies that were completely original, in the first Halloween movie. That young fans of horror movies, when they watch Halloween for the first time, it doesn’t have the same effect because it’s like, well, they’re just doing it. It’s like no, this invented all of these tropes. The villain who’s not actually dead and all that thing. I don’t know that Dirty Rotten Scoundrels would have the same bite in this decade as it did 35 years ago.

Chris Hill: Tell me what you think of this because I’m not sure about it, but it might be good. The usual suspects, no spoiler alerts here.

Bill Barker: I’m in.

Bill Mann: Keyser Soze is not done.

Chris Hill: Here’s the thing. We don’t really know, maybe anything about Keyser Soze.

Bill Mann: True.

Chris Hill: A prequel could be any story you wanted. You could go everywhere on that one?

Bill Barker: Yeah. You could, that would be it.

Bill Mann: You’ve been in a lot of places Bill, but you finally did bring some value of comic. That’s a good show.

Chris Hill: The narrator is somewhere between 100 percent unreliable. But maybe there’s something in there that is related to what you would cover in a prequel.

Bill Barker: If we take the narrator at, let’s just call it 50 percent face value. You’ve got a really dark prequel there. You’re going to visit some dark places. This is one of those like, is this a series, is this an HBO Max thing there’s a lot of blood in this one, there’s a lot of murder. A lot of killings in this love.

Bill Mann: You love killing.

Chris Hill: Although the actual violence in the movie was not particularly graphic.

Bill Barker: In The Usual Suspects?

Chris Hill: Yeah. There were some gunshots.

Bill Barker: No, it wasn’t.

Bill Mann: The burnt guy was a little rough. The burned Hungarian guy.

Chris Hill: Look. Compared to what they put out here on HBO nowadays. It’s not exactly Game of Thrones in terms of the graphic violence. You can go there. Keyser Soze might have a few things in his past if he even existed.

Bill Mann: Are you familiar with Craig Mazin, that name?

Dan Boyd: No.

Bill Mann: He’s a writer and a director and he did one of the most incredible right turns for a career that I have seen. He was responsible for such deeply valued productions like Scary Movie 3 and Scary Movie 4 and Hangover Part 2 and Hangover Part 3, not Hangover Part 1. Then after Hangover Part 3, he wrote Chernobyl.

Bill Barker: Really?

Bill Mann: Yes. If that’s your background, if that is your CV.

Bill Barker: Scary Movie 3, also, Chernobyl. 

Chris Hill: He dealt with the horror a little bit.

Bill Mann: He did.

Chris Hill: He knew something about that.

Bill Mann: I just don’t see what is in that background that suggests, he’s going to treat Chernobyl, and people who were from the Soviet Union at that time are going to look at it and say that production nailed everything.

Bill Barker: But do we give all props to writers who are writing about something that already happened in the real world?

Chris Hill: If they write about it well.

Bill Barker: I think if they write about it well, yeah.

Chris Hill: He didn’t come up with that story on his own.

Bill Mann: He didn’t come up with Chernobyl on his own.

Bill Barker: That thing happened.

Bill Mann: Yes, it did happen, but where he really captured things that were a surprise even for people who knew the story is that he was really able to capture the internal politics in the Soviet Union at the time that prevented people from doing the right thing up and down the line. It was to me one of the most terrifying productions I’ve ever seen, and to your point, it was historical.

Bill Barker: Well, thank you for that explanation.

Chris Hill: To that point, Dan, what is the film writing that you particularly enjoy, respect and admire? Because I don’t peg you as someone who’d necessarily is a huge fan of world-building.

Bill Mann: Because he’s a nihilist?

Bill Barker: No. World building can be tough in movies, especially in the feature film, we’re only got around two hours to do something. I actually think our Keyser Soze Usual suspects is actually a very good example of really strong writing because it doesn’t take time to explain a whole lot. It just, let’s the viewer make the connections in their own brain. Then when you get to the point of that movie where things are a little bit spelled out for everybody. It’s a big holy smokes moment. I think that’s when it comes to a visual medium like that, don’t explain stuff. I always hate it when a movie starts with voice-over and text, and they’re just like spelling it out for you. That’s the laziest thing a movie can do.

Chris Hill: You know about that though. You know why Star Wars starts with a crawl.

Dan Boyd: No, why. 

Chris Hill: Because this is in the HBO documentary about Steven Spielberg. Early in the documentary, it goes into the relationship he has with other young up-and-coming directors, George Lucas, Martin Scorsese, Brian De Palma, and they’re competing with one another, but also they have respect for each other, and they want opinions. Lucas has a rough cut of Star Wars and shows it to the three of them, and then they go out to dinner. There’s a lot that’s unclear, not just because there aren’t special effects, but so he shows it to them. They go out to dinner and Brian De Palma is just knocking back glasses of wine. Lucas can tell that his friends are not being completely straight with him about like no, it was good, I liked it. Finally, Brian De Palma just explodes in the restaurant at George Lucas.

He’s like, what the hell is going on, what is this? Is this a war? Is this about religion? He’s just unloading on Lucas. Lucas is just taking it back a little bit and just explain to him well no, there’s this empire and there’s a rebellion and the religion thing that’s really the foot. He is explaining all this stuff to De Palma. De Palma just looks at him and goes, none of that is clear. Lucas starts to panic a little bit because he’s like, we’ve already done all the shooting, what do I do now? De Palma is you should just do like they did in the ’30s and just have a crawl, just tell people right at the outset what’s happening because that’s the only way you’re going to fix this. Because I have no idea and it just makes me love that, right now whenever I see the opening crawl on any Star Wars thing, it just makes me think of that. 

Dan Boyd: The crawl though, maybe it started off as a funny thing like that. Sure. But you look at the last three Star Wars movies, and it’s a crutch.

Bill Mann: It is a crutch.

Dan Boyd: They used that thing. They brought Emperor Palpatine back in the crawl in the last movie. You know what would have been cool to see in a Star Wars movie, gang? Emperor Palpatine coming back, that might have been something cool.

Bill Mann: They’ll get to it.

Bill Barker: They’ll get to that.

Chris Hill: They’ll get to it.

Dan Boyd: In the Disney+ series sooner or later.

Bill Mann: I would’ve loved one of those crawls to start with, OK, here’s the thing. 

Bill Barker: Palpatine.

Dan Boyd: If those are the actual words, OK.

Bill Barker: Disney+, Palpatine, we’re here to find out how it happened. I threw something out a long time ago threw it out again last night. There was this couple, they had a wedding and some of the attendees at the wedding were disappointed that there was no food or beverage at the wedding. The wedding host had spent the money that otherwise might have gone to food and beverage on having Mickey Mouse.

Dan Boyd: Because the wedding was at Disney, right?

Bill Barker: No. They were just big Disney fans. I’m not judging. You remember this.

Bill Mann: Yeah.

Bill Barker: Again, through no fault of your own, you’re not able to have food and beverage at your wedding. Got about 100 people. Let’s say there is about 180 bucks per person for food and beverage that you would have been able to allocate about 30 bucks for food, 150 for alcohol. You got $18,000 to play with here on something that you’re going to have at your wedding that you’re going to be able to defend for the rest of your life. You came here to my wedding, as you know, through no fault of my own, I was not able to have food and beverage at my wedding, but that money went to this cool thing. What do you got?

Dan Boyd: But just to be clear, it was through their fault. 

Bill Barker: We’re not throwing this couple under the bus.

Chris Hill: This couple that we don’t know is not listening to us right now. I feel pretty confident saying no it’s mostly their fault.

Bill Mann: That totally their fault, they didn’t replace it with cholera.

Chris Hill: They made a conscious decision, we could spend money on food and beverage. Instead, we’re going to spend it on Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse. because we’re big Disney fans and we told everyone ahead of time. When I saw that I thought, oh, if I were friends with those people, I’m not entirely sure I would go to their wedding, or I would go to the wedding and just be like, let’s go out, I’m not going to the reception, so I can see Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse.

Bill Barker: Nobody tuned in or is still listening to this podcast here. You trashed some unknown couple who like Mickey and Minnie Mouse. What they want to know is how you would have adopted this situation and produced out of this tragedy of not having food and alcohol, something decent.

Dan Boyd: This comes down to you want people to walk away saying that was worth it. What did you do this weekend? I went to this wedding. Here’s the thing, at the reception, there was no food. Because a common question is open bar. No, there is no open bar there was no food.

Bill Barker: As you recall, there were vending machines at that the wedding reception.

Chris Hill: Which is no defense whatsoever. I don’t know. That hit me on a gut level even though.

Bill Barker: You’ve still never been able to move past it.

Chris Hill: Well, yeah. Because I grew up in the school of no, if you’re throwing a party, you give people something to eat, and you give them something to drink. Now it doesn’t have to be filet mignon, and it doesn’t have to be Dom Perignon champagne.

Bill Barker: Stuffing.

Chris Hill: But you got to get stuffing.

Bill Barker: Heck of a wedding.

Chris Hill: You might show up with Ho-ho and Pepsi people will be thrilled. Dan, any thoughts on what would make you come away from a wedding reception and tell me on a Monday, what did you do this weekend? I went to this wedding, there was no food and beverage, but holy cow, they had fill-in-the-blank.

Dan Boyd: Here’s the thing. I think. That the gift that this couple is giving all of their guests is the lifelong ability to talk about the worst wedding they ever went to.

Bill Barker: To whine about their first-world problems. I went to a wedding and I had to buy my own food.

Chris Hill: Here is the thing, all of us are reacting in the same way to this story, which is of horror. Especially if this couple didn’t tell people in advance that there would be no food or beverage, but Mickey and Minnie Mouse are going to be there, I don’t know y’all.

Bill Mann: That’s bad.

Chris Hill: To me, and you guys know me. I’m a little bit of a complainer. I could complain about this wedding for the rest of my life.

Bill Mann: You would be happy.

Bill Barker: Without even having been there. You might be able to complain about it.

Chris Hill: But to his point, it’s oh, you know that Internet meme that went around. I was there.

Bill Mann: I was there.

Bill Barker: That is the gift.

Chris Hill: That’s a pretty good gift, I think actually. I know that this couple probably didn’t plan for that because that’s a meta gaming, unbeknownst to anyone.

Dan Boyd: I think it’s pretty remarkable.

Bill Mann: It is pretty remarkable to stay with the principle of this story. I think it’s got to be some other form of entertainment that cost $18,000 but the reasonable guest would think it is pretty cool.

Chris Hill: It’s like the Rolling Stones.

Bill Mann: Howard Jones, you could get for $18,000. Anyone who’s anywhere close to our age would be, hey, you know what? That’s pretty great.

Chris Hill: I don’t even know who Howard Jones is.

Bill Mann: Life in one day.

Bill Barker: You got Ricky Jay to walk around and do some close-up magic for everyone.

Bill Mann: Yeah, close-up magic from Ricky Jay.

Bill Barker: We had somebody at a party that we were at do close-up magic.

Bill Mann: We had no food.

Bill Barker: It was not worth 18K.

Bill Mann: Also, that party had no food.

Chris Hill: I think it’s true. Wasn’t that a Fool party?

Bill Mann: Yes. We’re not complaining people who organize parties for The Motley Fool. It is just that mistakes were made.

Bill Barker: Food is more useful than.

Bill Mann: It’s got to be some ’80s or ’90s star, Debbie Gibson happy to be asked $18,000.

Chris Hill: Yeah, it’s got to be something that you can walk away.

Dan Boyd: But what are you going to do while Debbie Gibson is up there singing?

Bill Mann: We had vending machines.

Chris Hill: Ultimately Dan nailed it, it comes down to the story.

Bill Mann: It’s not going to go well.

Chris Hill: What’s the best story to tell people?

Bill Mann: Yeah.

Chris Hill: It’s either we were at this Internet meme wedding or it’s here’s a photo of me and fill-in-the-blank Carson.

Bill Barker: Could you get the entire Brady Bunch for 18K?

Chris Hill: I don’t think so, aren’t some of them dead?

Bill Mann: Then they don’t cost anything.

Chris Hill: Much like the immortal Ricky Jay.

Bill Mann: Yeah.

Chris Hill: Yeah. No longer with us.

Bill Mann: I really feel like it’s a has been musical star that people would be excited to have seen. Even under the circumstances.

Chris Hill: Pre-spring share.

Bill Barker: It’s got to be a story.

Bill Mann: Still going to be more than.

Chris Hill: No, I’m kidding.

Dan Boyd: He said has been.

Chris Hill: That was a joke.

Bill Barker: You can’t go to the back row of a Springsteen concert for 18K.

Bill Mann: That right, he’s not a has-been, he is an is-be.

Bill Barker: I’m getting a ticket for 21K in one of his shows.

Chris Hill: I hope they didn’t pay $18,000 to have Mickey and Minnie there.

Bill Barker: No, it was less than that, but I’m trying to work with a little bit bigger budget so that we can get something better than Mickey and Minnie like oh, well, I got H.R. Pufnstuf there. 

Chris Hill: Again, I don’t think you’re breaking the bank with H.R. Pufnstuf.

Bill Mann: Wait a second, if you had H.R. Pufnstuf for your wedding. 

Chris Hill: Many weddings these days do. 

Bill Barker: It would be so much better than Mickey and Minnie.

Chris Hill: So much better.